omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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