This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
