god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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