I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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