He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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