My nipple is on Facebook.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
