I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
