How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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