I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
