these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
