I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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