Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
