I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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