If that was your dad, he is hot
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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