I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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