Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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