The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
