peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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