The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
