We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
