So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize