tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
