i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
