I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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