Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
