Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize