Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
