my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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