I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
