I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
