A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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