I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
