kristin has been a bad kristin
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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