So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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