Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
