What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Even the bartender felt bad for me
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
