Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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