Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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