i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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