Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
The cops high fived after they tackled you
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
