Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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