I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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