I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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