dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I love you. Go after that dick
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
