Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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