sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
