they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
pray to the hookup gods
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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