i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
