Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
