no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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