we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
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Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
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