Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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