matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
