I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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