Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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