Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just forgot I was standing up.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
