dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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