Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
