Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm bleeding and have questions
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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