I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
