Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
