We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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