why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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