we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
