Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
