U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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